Send in the clones

IT looks as if the producers of unexpected runaway success THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX may have taken a bit of advice from DOCTOR WHO’s Cybermen this weekend.

Far below the dancefloor of heart-throb Mark Wright’s nightclub Deuces of Chigwell, it’s possible the producers have been cloning some new but strangely-the-same faces for Sunday night’s third series opener.

If new blonde lady Frankie seemed oddly familiar, it’s because she’s the sis of everyone’s favourite Essex eejit Joey Essex (... likes to wear shoes two sizes too small to make his feet look better etc).

And for newly-slimmer ex-blonde Gemma, there was the exciting appearance of two perfectly-muscled models Giorgio and Dino who looked like distant cousins of Louie Spence and could be clones they’re so alike ... OK, they’re twins. And they would have been perfect in every way for Gemma and her pal Maria, until they stood up.

But if they’re examples of your smaller model, bum-baring new boy Mario was dead set on impressing Lucy by dropping his towel. Though we only got to see the rear view, he possibly revealed – if her expression was any guide – that his equipment may be extra large.

Cuddly James Corden will leave a big hole in the Doctor Who guestlist if his return as Craig from Colchester on Saturday is indeed his last-ever in the series.

Playing a vulnerable new dad, Corden and Doctor Matt Smith had more than enough chemistry to fight off the pesky Cybermen in a department store where the changing rooms looked as if bossy Mary Portas had been remodelling.

But in a new idea for Channel 5, they’ve called in the equally posh design guru Kelly Hoppen to help families across Britain add the designer look to their manky interiors.

You had to feel sorry for Kelly whose grand schemes were brought well back down to earth by the prospect of turning a packed garage of junk into a Soprano-esque bordello of dark wood and scarlet.

Possibly the Hawaiian bar in the back garden should have given her a clue that this would be a tough one.

And for those who can’t see past Gok Wan’s ability to zhuzh a girl’s saggy boobs into pert "bangers", he was also back on Tuesday with a new series designed to make the budget look sexier too with £50 to buy a whole outfit.

And there was also a makeover for the Gallagher family in the 100th episode of SHAMELESS with a special 100-minute special.

It was business as usual .

Well, pretty much. Frank was accused of attacking a simple soul who’d won a scratch card bonanza and Pa Gallagher had just a blank drink-induced amnesia as defence.

So it meant young Carl stepping up for the first time at 21 to take charge of the family fortunes – and seeing the return of favourite original series actor Dean Lennox as Kev to help.

New generation Gallagher done good.

He’ll never be a Frank clone, but chip off the old drink-sozzled, good-hearted block, yes.

Do you want to respond to this article? If so, click here to submit your thoughts and they may be published in print.