Machete (18)

WHAT started life as a full-on blood-fuelled fake trailer for Quentin Tarantino and buddy Robert Rodriguez’s Grindhouse beats the odds to become an eye-popping full-length movie.

MACHETE cuts to the chase from the moment we see a quick rerun of the original trailer where Mexican federal agent Machete (Danny Trejo) is brutalised by drug baron Steven Seagal and sees his wife beheaded before his eyes.

That can scar a man.

And when he turns up in Texas with revenge on Seagal in mind, he divides a cast of characters including evil Don Johnson as a racist vigilante, Robert de Niro as an anti-immigration politician versus Jessica Alba as an agent, taco vendor revolutionary Michelle Rodriguez and Lindsay Lohan as temporary love interest.

There’s more blood, bullets and brutal payback than you expected to see in a lifetime – let alone one movie.

Pure adrenalin leaves not a second for time-wasting with a packed plot, the odd gun-toting nun and the promise (or is it) of a sequel or two. Disappointing extras, mind.

DVDs reviewed courtesy of HMV, Inverness.

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