'I would love to keep travelling the world, but there's work to be done' – Inverness performer Ant Collesso hopes to continue breaking down barriers after returning home to Highland capital
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Ant Collesso felt a calling to come back home to Inverness – but that could not have been a feeling further from when he left as a teenager.
The performer earned a scholarship to a ballet school in Manchester, so left Culloden Academy at the end of fifth year to go and chase his dream.
It was south of the border, then, that Mr Collesso truly feels he grew up. Being gay and mixed race in the Highland capital, there was always an underlying sense of unease, even when given the chance to do what he was passionate about by acting, singing and dancing on stage.
"I didn't know who I was or what was going on," he reflected.
"There were only a few people of colour at the school. Being mixed race, there is still a lot of talk about the difficulty compared to being a single race that isn't really being acknowledged yet, but I think one day it will.
"There was nobody I could really look up to, no space I could go to or that I felt I could see people like me. It wasn't talked about, it was all hidden.
"I was very lucky that by chance, I was just in the right place at the right time in Manchester, I was at a summer school that I'd gone to against my will for a friend, and they offered me a scholarship.
"I moved to Manchester, and I did most of my growing up and learning about who I am there. There was something within me that felt Inverness was my home, but I shouldn't feel like I have to go away because of who I am.
"Growing up I did a lot. I did the Inverness amateur drama, and we did Anything Goes in Eden Court. I was the only boy dancer, and one of the main characters has four angels that follow her around everywhere. I was one of them in drag.
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"It was supposed to be a funny thing for the audience, and it was, and that was my first experience of doing anything but I was the only boy and I felt judged.
"I still had that in my brain, so when I graduated and became a performer, I would have loved to bring it back to Inverness but there weren't the opportunities, and I wasn't in a place where I could make it happen and work. I felt like Inverness wasn't ready yet.
"Since I've been away, I've kept in contact and seen what has been going on with different things popping up, and it's great. Inverness is finally growing, and when I saw that I felt a bit more accepted and like I could come back. I could come back and see people like me, and it is okay for me to be here."
Moving to Manchester, one of the most LGBTQ+ friendly areas in the country, was a world apart from the Highlands. Similarly, the industry Mr Collesso works in is known to be inclusive to the queer community.
Occasionally he would be between contracts and come back home for a short spell, but he would still feel uncomfortable – and on one occasion in Inverness was asked if he could speak English because of his skin colour.
The turning point in Mr Collesso's perception of his hometown came when Highland Pride launched.
Then known as ProudNess, he was asked to perform in 2019, and it only served to reignite his faith in the area – and fuel his determination to come home and make a difference himself through Fitness With Pride.
"Being away and seeing other places made me realise how far behind Inverness was at the time, and it made me not want to be here," he explained.
"I'm so grateful for Highland Pride, because it takes some strong people to start something like that up here. I felt the urge to get involved with it and help, and my family came, my parents came.
"I just remember thinking it was incredible that my dad was there at a Pride watching me sing, and my cousin, who is transgender, was there doing a speech with the rest of the family.
"Seeing that, it was almost like something clicked. Something was missing for me before that, but I could see that there were other people like me, and there was nowhere else I'd rather be.
"The Highlands are beautiful, I love it up here, so being able to walk around without judgement is just incredible to me. I'm so proud of Inverness and the Highlands for getting on board and actively trying to build something to make more things happen.
"For me coming back, the main thing is being able to stop one person going down a hole that I probably would have been stuck in if I hadn't been lucky enough to get away and perform as my career.
"In the back of my mind I never felt brave enough and I didn't think it was going to work, or that people wouldn't want it. If it wasn't for Pride and everything they're doing, I might not know that there are people who need this and that there is a space for it.
"If I could carry on travelling the world and performing, I probably could do it for another 10 years, but something just doesn't sit right with that idea for me. I would love to keep travelling the world, but there is work that needs to be done and I feel like I'm being called.
"There's this area where I used to walk up to the top of the hill, and in darkness you could see all of Inverness and the Kessock Bridge. It was a gorgeous spot, and I used to go up there and think 'this cannot be all there is in the world, I cannot be the only person in this place like this'.
"Now I go back and say thank you to the universe that has helped me, but I remember wondering how I was going to do what I wanted to do, have a career and get out of Inverness. Flash forward to now, I'm 30, and I did it.
"Having someone that has done it for other people to see, I think that will be a big thing for people growing up."
As well as inspiring, and being inspired by, the LGBTQ+ community, being mixed biracial is a big part of Mr Collesso's identity.
While lots of LGBTQ+ representation can be middle class and white, that is just another way that he breaks the mould.
"Obviously it's incredibly important – it's who I am," Mr Collesso added.
"That's why in Fitness With Pride classes, I celebrate the artists of colour and use their music as well. There's a reason behind that.
"I'm mixed race, so I'm not white and I'm not black, and I don't necessarily feel like I belong in either group anymore – I know that we are our own group.
"Inverness is not as racially diverse as the bigger cities, which is fine, it is what it is, but being who I am is a massive part of what I'm trying to do.
If I can represent people like me growing up in Inverness – or even in the industry – who might feel like an outcast, that's what I want to do.
"The last production I did abroad, I was the only non-white person in the cast. I said that to someone else who didn't even realise, and it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. If I was the only mixed race person in a black cast, I would have felt the same, and you can't really know what that feels like until you've been through it.
"I go back to when I was growing up, and if there was someone like me running a class like I run, it would have motivated me. I would have realised there are people who are born and growing up in the north away from the big city, or moving here, who aren't white. That visibility is so important."
