POLITICS MATTERS: Wacky predictions for what politics might bring in 2024
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As this is my last column of the year (my son Andrew is back from the States next week and the kind editor has given me the rest of the year off!) it is time for my political predictions for 2024, some more serious than others!
The general election will be held on Thursday, May 30, 2024.
Nationally, Sir Keir Starmer’s Labour Party will sweep to victory, winning over 420 seats, giving them a landslide 190 seat majority.
At a more local level in the Inverness, Skye and West Ross-Shire constituency, local MP Drew Hendry will face a very tight contest against a hard-working Liberal Democratic candidate and a newly resurgent Labour Party.
In the neighbouring constituency of Moray West, Nairn and Strathspey, the Tories and Labour will run the contest neck and neck, with the SNP in third place, not helped by the decision of the Scottish Greens to run Forres councillor, Draeyk Van Der Horn, which will split the Nationalist vote.
Following the General Election defeat, Rishi Sunak will resign his Westminster seat.
My crystal ball is getting more hazy now, but is that Boris Johnson who wins the subsequent by-election, launching a fresh challenge for the leadership of the Tory Party? And is his running mate Nigel Farage, who will join the Conservatives in the spring of 2024?
Farage will then lead the successful campaign by Orkney and Shetland to leave the UK in April.
The SNP will fail to win a majority of Westminster seats in Scotland so, to gain a bit of publicity, Humza Yousaf, the First Minister, will join a new team of “I’m a Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here!” contestants for a reported fee of £1 million, which he will go on to donate to the independence campaign.
The new series of “I’m a Celebrtity...” will be filmed in the Black Isle and include local celebrities, actress Karen Gillan, former Caley Thistle star Ryan Christie and musician Katie Gregson-MacLeod.
Former renowned Inverness music venue, The Ironworks, will rise from the ashes in a new location at the end of 2024 – within the grounds of the Caledonian Stadium.
This will prove a helpful addition to the singing at home games.
Meanwhile, Highland Council lawyers will find an ancient lease which confirms that the Inverness Town House actually belongs to the McDonald’s hamburger chain.
Following a quick conversion in the autumn of 2024, the McDonald’s Town House Burger Bar will become the largest McDonald’s outlet in the UK, bringing fresh waves of American tourists to the Highland capital, looking for a taste of home.
Residents of the up-market Crown district in Inverness will hold a series of protest meetings in Eden Court Theatre to object to the pedestrianisation of Academy Street, which will lead to traffic chaos in their ward.
At peak periods in the morning and evening, traffic will tail back to the Kessock roundabout and Raigmore Hospital.
A spokesperson for the Scottish Government suggests an alternative plan – dualling Academy Street instead of the A9.
And at that point, the crystal ball has become choked up with exhaust fumes – it’s time to go!
So, a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all readers!
