'It has opened up my understanding of what a community can be' – Inverness Kiki Family closing in on one year of weekly meet-ups for the LGBTQ+ community in the Highlands
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Later this month the Inverness Kiki Family will be celebrating a full year of weekly meet-ups.
In Inverness, and across the Highlands general, there are a distinct lack of spaces specifically designed for the LGBTQ+ community to gather and socialise.
That is where the Kiki Family play an important role. Every Thursday night, up to 30 people from all ages, backgrounds, genders and sexualities gather in a place with no judgement or harassment.
Starting out as occasional meet-ups where people were just trying to get enough people together to go to the cinema or a drag show, the group has turned into a regular date in many people's calendars.
The weekly debut of the Kiki Family saw 12 people in attendance, most of whom were complete strangers to each other. To this day, most people going along for the first time do so on their own.
In time, as word spread that such a space existed in the Highland capital, numbers – and a community – grew.
Harking back to its origins, it is once again more than a weekly meet-up. DJ collective Queers Without Fears occasionally come along to set up open decks for the group to try out, there is now a monthly book-club in the Highland capital and even one-off events like photowalks have been organised through it.
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Those who have been there since day one have seen not just the growth of the Kiki Family as a group, but also how it has changed the individuals in attendance.
"We have had many people come who said they had very little social life before this, as they said it was hard to meet new people in Inverness," Kiki Family founder Stephen Doyle said.
"Many people who are new to the area have come along and said it has been great way to meet local people.
"We have had many say it is their first time exploring queer community, and that this is their first time ever meeting other LGBTQ+ people, and that actually they are still in the closet with friends and family.
"There have been times gender-questioning or trans people have came along and got changed in the bathroom, and then presented as their preferred gender for the first time ever in public."
The real impact of such a space can only truly be described by those who have benefited from it.
Even then, it can be difficult to put into words how it is to feel accepted for the first time – and even more than that, welcomed into a space with open arms.
One attendee, Laura, took a big step in different ways by going along to the Kiki Family at first, saying: "Having only recently, as a 57-year-old, come out to my family as a transgender woman, I have been quite overwhelmed by their love and support.
"My wife suggested I look for any local groups, and it was on this search that I came across the Kiki Family.
"Having rarely ventured out as my true self, to go on that first night was both nerve-wracking and exciting. However, on arrival, no-one batted an eyelid at my appearance other than to compliment my make-up and dress.
"I left at the end of the evening feeling elated as 'Laura' had been wholeheartedly accepted by those I met.
"It is such a wonderful and all-encompassing group of people, who each week brings me so much joy to chat with, learn their stories and more importantly make new friends.
"It's only been five months, but I feel so grateful to have met such a great bunch who have been brought together by the Kiki Family."
While Laura took a significant personal step in going along to the Kiki Family for the first time, for another attendee it was more of a circumstantial change that brought them to the group – just as Doyle described – not looking back since.
"Inverness Kiki Family was the place where I made my first friend when I first moved here," Chak said.
"The consistency of the weekly meet-up and the familiarity of the regulars make me feel very comfortable to just 'be' in the space.
"It has opened up my understanding of what a community means and can be."
For more information about the Inverness Kiki Family, find them on Facebook or Instagram
