JOHN DEMPSTER: The moment I was able to glimpse Jesus as if for the first time
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Several Christians I’ve met recently came to faith as mature adults. Having so much spiritual baggage from my own youth, I’m rather jealous. Wouldn’t it be rather lovely to meet Jesus again as if for the first time?
Let me tell you about my week. For some time I’d been feeling distant from God, as if an invisible shutter were drawn between us. I’d cry out: “Where are you?”
Trees and flowers and sky seemed dull and pedestrian. The magic of God’s presence had gone.
I was fraught about many things, including the marketing of my new book. How could I adequately publicise it, ensuring it got into the hands of the people who would benefit most?
On Monday evening, just as I was dropping off to sleep, a picture dropped into my mind – a table, set for a meal, a clear sense that I was cherished by God, invited by God to sit, and eat.
Tuesday morning as usual, I headed to St Michael and All Angels for mass. The stained window in the porch was reflected in the glass of the inside door depicting St Michael, thrusting his sword down the dragon’s throat. “Dragons,” I thought, “are not invincible”.
A line from the liturgy stood out: "Blessed are those who are invited to the feast”.
Recalling my thoughts the night before, I felt specifically invited, and I remembered that to each eucharist each of us is invited individually, anew.
There was a Bible reading from Jeremiah. “We had hoped for a time of healing, but there is only terror.” I feel like that sometimes, I reflected, encouraged.
Later I re-read the passage, and found that the absence of healing was a sign of God’s judgement on the people for worshipping the stars of the heavens rather than their creator.
Charming! I thought. But later I wondered: could it be that in all my efforts to promote the book and navigate life generally I was relying too much on the stars of my ingenuity and ability rather than quietly doing all I could while entrusting the book, and my life to God?
And this thought came, not with a sense of guilt, but of freedom and release.
As a result of all this, and the parable we thought about at Hilton Church on Sunday – a parable about a man relying on wealth, rather than God, a parable which became as I read it a shimmering, vivid 3D reality, full of implications – I feel I have once more faintly glimpsed Jesus as for the first time. He slays the dragons which threaten us, and we Jesus-followers slay dragons in his name, perhaps even in the writing of words like these.
