Laughter is the best medicine

Schools are shutting down, stocks are plummeting, and healthcare workers are scrambling to deal with a shortage of beds.

It’s no wonder coronavirus has us anxious and worried. So here is a momentary distraction to lift our spirits – some of my favourite gin funnies.

• Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’ve had too much gin.
• I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbour mowing the lawn. I figured he’ll just have to mow around me, I’m not moving.
• I drink too much gin. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.
• Don’t get me wrong, sliced bread was a great invention. But it doesn’t go nearly as well with tonic.
• Late nights and alcohol is not the answer. Unless of course you’re asking what I’m doing this weekend.
• It’s strange how drinking eight glasses of water a day seems impossible, but eight glasses of gin at a tasting go down like a chubby kid on a see-saw.
• I’ve never been in love. But I imagine it must be similar to the feeling I get when I see the barman coming towards me with my gin and tonic.
• I love it when the gin and tonic is so cold it could start singing Let it Go.
• As I’ve got older I’ve learned that you really don’t need to have fun to drink alcohol.
• Drink gin! It’s God’s way of making your friends interesting.
• If at first you don’t succeed, try try try a gin.
• Whoever it was invented yoga, I thank you. Drinking gin in yoga pants is my very favourite thing.
• I will not be impressed by iPhones until they can download gin.
• Unfortunately, my daydreams about losing weight are often interrupted by the sound of me slurping my G&T.

See www.ginclubscotland.com for a selection of comedy cards and coasters to raise a smile when the chips are down.

• Chrissie Fairclough is tastings director for Gin Club Scotland, which runs touring and distillery-based tastings, as well as offering tasting kits for people to run their own events. www.ginclubscotland.com

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