Former Inverness Caley Thistle player Kayleigh Mackenzie hoping crowdfunder can save football career and end ‘nightmare’ spell with ACL injury
Around 15 months ago, Kayleigh Mackenzie found herself in the “nightmare” scenario that no football player wants to be in.
While playing for Inverness Caledonian Thistle against Dryburgh Athletic, the now-Ross County player and coach felt her knee hyperextend and heard a pop, which she now knows to be a partial tear of her anterior cruciate ligament (ACL).
It has become something of an epidemic in women’s football. Elite players like Sam Kerr, Vivienne Miedema and recent Champions League winners with Arsenal Beth Mead and Leah Williamson are just a handful of players to have been forced on to the sidelines.
Closer to home, Mackenzie had seen several teammates go through the same process. ICT’s Katie Clelland spent two years out of the game, Jana Brady eventually had to retire due to her injuries and turned her focus towards refereeing, while current Caley Thistle boss Karen Mason saw her own career ended by the same issue.
Making the issue all the more problematic for 22-year-old Mackenzie, though, was that the injury was initially misdiagnosed as a sprain.
It took another three months to get MRI results that showed a partial tear in the Stornoway native’s ACL.
For partial tears, surgery is not possible, so Mackenzie was told to rehabilitate the injury to build strength back up in her muscle and eventually passed all tests to return to football training.
However, during a shooting drill in her first sessions back, she heard another pop – now having a fully ruptured ACL with a torn meniscus on both sides of the knee.
This time, it began affecting her daily life. Mackenzie could be walking or standing normally one minute, and the next her knee would buckle. Other symptoms began appearing, including her foot going numb, her calves cramping, and discolouration in her foot.
A third visit to orthopedics earlier this month – more than a year after her initial MRI – confirmed that surgery was her only real option to get back playing football, but with waiting lists stretching into years Mackenzie’s family have launched a crowdfunder to help her go private and get the surgery as soon as possible.
“You always have that nightmare of ‘will it happen to you’, especially as a female footballer because there’s a higher chance of it happening, and unfortunately for me that nightmare came true,” Mackenzie said.
“I saw what a couple of the girls at Caley went through, and it’s not nice to see because you can see it taking a toll on people.
“Now I can see first-hand how tough it is, and I’m in the dark again because they can’t give me a timeframe (for the surgery).
“It has been a lot because of a silly little knee. I was doing the thing I love, and then the next minute everything got taken away.
“I love football so much, I wouldn’t change it for the world. It was my safe space, so not having it has been really hard.”
Although a football injury, and a return to playing being at the forefront of Mackenzie’s mind, it has impacted her life in other ways off the pitch too.
A window fabricator at Cairngorm Windows with a view to becoming a joiner, she has had to take time off work because of the mental health impact the saga has had on her.
Many nights have ended in tears at both the physical pain Mackenzie has been feeling, but also the prospect of not being able to get back to the comfort of her safe space.
“My mental health had been a bit up and down before my injury, but whenever I was on the pitch none of that mattered,” Mackenzie recalled.
“When I got the call to say it was a partial tear, I couldn’t stop crying that whole night – when it’s a partial tear, it’s going to stay that way forever, so I was crying for days knowing that I might not get back to football.
“When I stepped back on to the pitch, I felt sick with anxiety because I didn’t want it to happen again, and it did. I was screaming out ‘it’s done’, because I knew it was way worse than the first time.
“Again, I was crying for days thinking that I would never return to football at 22. I would watch Ross County play and I felt useless.
“It came to a head when my parents were visiting one weekend, and I had just locked myself in my room. They were doing touristy things, but I was just lying on my bed crying.
“One thing you don’t want to be doing is isolating yourself, that’s the worst thing you can do, but at that point I didn’t feel like I could do anything else.
“My parents didn’t realise how bad it was, and to be honest I don’t think I realised how bad it was. I still didn’t really want to go and get help, but I knew I had to, so I did.
“At first, I didn’t feel like it was helping – I was going to work miserable and coming home miserable. I just felt like I was in this box, and there was no way of getting out.
“Work has been amazing, and I went back to the doctor’s and got stronger medication. It seems to be working but I just feel numb. It’s like I don’t have any emotions, so I’m not sure if it’s a good or a bad thing, but I’m not breaking down in tears so I’ll take it as a win.”
A key frustration for Mackenzie was that initial diagnosis, which only served to delay what was already going to be a lengthy recovery process.
In the face of adversity, though, has come the good of humanity. Despite Mackenzie’s protests, her mum set up a GoFundMe at the suggestion of friends to try and raise money to contribute to the costs of getting the surgery done privately, which is likely to reach £10-12,000.
With waiting lists meaning a potential five-year absence from playing by the time the surgery is done and Mackenzie has recovered, people’s generosity has given her some hope that she may once again play football in a much quicker timespan.
“It’s quite overwhelming seeing the numbers go up, but it’s giving me that little bit of hope that maybe we can reach the target and I can get my operation sooner,” she added.
“I can’t keep feeling the way I’m feeling, with the pain I’m in everyday. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
“With the money that has been raised, it does feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever we get, I will figure out the rest. I’m just desperate to get the operation.
“If it is a three-year waiting list, plus a year of recovery, I will be 27 years old. People say 27 is young, but after an ACL injury it’s not the same when you get a bit older, so I genuinely don’t think I would be able to return to football.
“It breaks my heart to even think that is a possibility, and that’s why I will do anything in my power to get the surgery sooner.
“The end goal is to be back playing football, and I think that’s where my happiness will come back and everything will fit back into place.
“Football is my escape from everything, so I won’t be feeling the way I’m feeling. I’ll just be able to enjoy life again.”
