Let's talk about mental health, says sister of Inverness man who took his own life
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The sister of an Inverness man who took his own life is urging people to speak more openly about their mental health.
Karen Howden also feels more needs to be done to look into the roots of what drives someone to suicide.
She and the rest of her family were left heartbroken after her brother, Craig Sutherland (30), left his home in Culduthel Road in the early hours of April 9 2019 and took his own life.
Mr Sutherland, who had struggled with depression, had been told he would have to wait 15 months for a one-to-one appointment at the city’s New Craigs psychiatric hospital.
Since her brother’s death, Mrs Howden has highlighted the need for people to have more open conversations around mental health and for improved access to mental health support, particularly given the added impact of the coronavirus pandemic.
The mother of three young boys blogs about a range of subjects including mental health, parenthood and travel on her site, The Howden Family Diaries.
"I don’t think I will be able to rid myself of the guilt of not being able to ask Craig and being aware of what he was feeling," said Mrs Howden, who lives in Devon.
She said he had closed up about his depression and did not wallow in pity but instead would go out and see friends.
"There are so many things I regret not speaking to Craig about," she said.
"I assumed he was fine and didn’t want to have any awkward conversations.
"If I had the time again, I would be asking, ‘How are you, and tell me what is going on in your life’.
"I think in his situation, like a lot of people, he thought he had tried everything to get better.
"In fact he hadn’t tried everything. He had not had that candid conversation with me or his parents or his girlfriend.
"If he had done that, we would desperately have tried to get him to where he could get better."
As well as discussing the issue on podcasts, she was a guest speaker on the virtual Good Grief Festival earlier this year and also retains links with the Highland charity Mikeysline, which raises awareness of suicide prevention.
She said although the grief never goes away, there are ways of dealing with it.
"We have a life we need to keep going for," she said.
"It was a case of saying, ‘OK, this has happened – how do I move on with it?’
"I think the way I moved on with it was by talking about it."
She has subsequently had a lot of responses via social media from people who have had experiences of suicide within their family and are grieving.
"Suicide is a word people shy away from because of all the connotations, but I feel duty-bound to help relatives, or someone who might be going under the radar with this, and point them to help before it gets to that critical point, or assure other people they are not alone in their grief," she said.
She also felt the impact of the coronavirus pandemic and lockdown had done huge damage to people who are vulnerable because of their mental health.
She said the economic impact had resulted in people losing their jobs while, as thing start to unlock, people would have social anxieties over getting back out into the world.
"As a society, I think we need to look into the roots of the problem," she said.
Mikeysline offers a text line help service at 07786 207755. More information can also be found on www.mikeysline.co.uk
Related story: Suicide victim was facing a15-month wait for help
