Inverness to Nottingham run sees man carry granite headstone 480 miles in honour of stillborn son
A man has completed a 480 mile run whilst carrying a headstone in honour of his stillborn son.
Jordan Mulligan (32) lost his son Jacob' nearly nine years ago but was racked by guilt over being unable to afford a headstone for his grave.
After spotting a perfect granite block while working in the north of Scotland, filmmaker Jordan knew that he had to bring it home to serve as his son's headstone.
After carrying the 100kg stone 28 miles to the nearest stonemasons to cut it down to size, Jordan began his journey.
He carried the now 25kg stone 480 miles, from his start point in Inverness to Jacob's grave in their hometown of Nottingham, raising money throughout for the Jacob Mulligan Charity throughout.
"His name was Jacob, and he was stillborn at 32 weeks," said Jordan.
"At the time, financially, I wasn’t in the position to purchase a headstone for Jacob, and it’s a guilt that I’d been carrying for a long time.
"It took me eight years to get to the point where I felt that I’d grieved enough to do something in Jacob’s name.
"I knew I wanted to do something; I wanted it to be difficult, and I wanted to do it in honour of Jacob.
"I was shooting a documentary in the north of Scotland, and near Inverness, I saw this stone by a river. It looked exactly like a headstone – it was a big, perfect, rectangular, natural stone.
"I stopped the car straight away, climbed down the flood wall, and managed to pick the stone up.
"I knew as soon as I touched the stone that I wanted to carry that stone home to my son.
"I carried the stone on my back for 28 miles so that it could be cut down into a baby sized headstone.
"I got the stone back from the stone mason and started from the exact same place I finished the last run, and then the journey began.
"I put the stone on, and we ran 53 miles on the first day."
Jordan's run lasted 12 exhausting days, as he braved motorways, faced injury and infection, and struggled to keep going at multiple points.
Accompanied by his brother, Luke, who ran alongside him until injury forced him to bow out, and his sister, who followed in her car, Jordan pushed through - as friends and family reminded him why he had begun.
"On day two, we decided to go another 45 miles. Day two was mostly around the A9, which was very difficult," said Jordan.
"We’d spoken to the police and made sure that we were doing it as safely as possible, but at the same time, cars and lorries are passing within two feet of you at times.
"At times, there were no pathways to run on, apart from the actual road, and there were frequent moments where it just wasn’t safe enough and it was a little bit too close to call.
"We decided that we’d no longer do main roads for safety reasons, so we had to change the whole route about 120 miles in.
"My brother was running without a stone, and had to bow out at that point, because his knees and joints had swollen to a point where he couldn’t walk or run anymore.
"We ran all the way through Edinburgh, but arriving on Edinburgh, I had severe feet injuries and an infection had started on my left foot.
"I had some treatment in Edinburgh from that from a physiotherapist, but there were a few things along the way that happened that didn’t allow me to keep those wounds clean.
"Every single day, we'd finish the run. I'd get back to the hotel or campsite, and I’d just clean the wounds – and that was the routine. I’d run, clean the wounds, go to sleep, wake up, and run.
"Around four or five days in, the kidney pain started to come. I had extreme sweats – it was like a flu.
"At night, I wouldn’t be able to sleep because I’d just be dripping with sweat, and in the daytime, I'd have this weird fatigue where I could literally fall asleep whilst running.
"I didn’t know if I was going to make it. I had come to a really slow crawl and everyone around me knew it was bad. I was in a bad spot.
"Then I opened a letter from my son, that I’d saved for a dark moment. He’d written a letter for me about his favourite moment with me, and it really pepped me up - and I got moving again."
After 12 days, Jordan arrived in Nottingham's market square, where friends and family waited to celebrate his achievement.
He then ran the last three miles to Jacob's grave, with the last half mile serving as a private cathartic moment.
"The last few miles felt like the absolute hardest of all," Jordan said.
"My mum was there. My mum’s first son, my eldest brother, Jason, was also stillborn, so seeing her was very emotional.
"She understood why I was doing it, when a lot of people didn’t.
"We turned up to Market Square and my family were there, and all the people who are important to me, which was amazing.
"That was the public finish line – the actual finish line was Jacob’s cemetery.
"The mission was always to put the stone back on and run the last three miles with my brother, and then the final mile by myself to Jacob.
"I wanted that moment for myself. I didn't want it on camera, and I didn't want anyone to be around.
"I thought it would be this crazy emotional moment where I’d be crying, but I ran up to the cemetery in this beautiful location on the top of a hill, and it still didn’t hit me.
"I got to Jacob's cemetery, I took the stone off, and the moment I placed it down, I started crying and the tears.
"I'm a big crier, so I very much go to Jacob's grave to sometimes just cry a little bit and, you know, have a moment with him, but this was different.
"I was crying and then it stopped within maybe 30 seconds. The crying stopped, the, the emotion stopped, and there was this absolute peace and serenity.
"I felt so much peace inside and I just had this strong, strong realization.
"Jacob wasn't there. He'd been with me the whole time. I'd felt that throughout the whole run. And if that was to be true, then he wasn't in the ground where I'd mourned over him for the last nearly nine years.
"It was really liberating because the graveside, although it offered me a lot of outlet to feel emotional about Jacob, also had some negative connotations to it, because I think I went up there to cry and to be emotional and to be sad.
"I think that wasn't allowing me to celebrate Jacob in the beautiful way that should have been doing it – in a loving way and using his love to help other people."
Jordan has now raised over £7000 for the Jacob Mulligan Charity - created by Jordan and family to provide headstones for families affected by baby loss.
Through the run, and the documentary chronicling the challenge, which Jordan is working to produce, he hopes to raise £25,000 for the cause.
"The goal at the moment is to provide headstones for bereaved parents," said Jordan.
"Currently, the government will provide a grant, which is fantastic to provide a funeral for anybody under the age of 18, but the grant is unable to extend to a headstone.
"At the baby cemetery where Jacob is, you get a plastic marker with the name and the date and around 50 percent of the cemetery doesn't have headstones, which is a stark contrast to the rest of the cemetery.
"With baby loss and stillbirth, you're really in a lot of turmoil, because you're, you're expecting to have a baby and have a child and then you're having to deal with a death.
"We just wanted to offer a granite stone – a very beautiful yet simple stone, made of Scottish granite from the same place where Jacob's granite was from.
"We've actually already helped our first family as well, which is fantastic.
"Baby loss and stillbirth is invisible; people can't see that pain and people can't understand what that pain feels like.
"I think this gave some people an insight, because people know how hard it is to run and to carry 25kg.
"The grief I experienced through baby loss was much tougher than the run, but I think it gave some people a visual of how hard it is.
"I did carry that stone by myself, but the support around me and everyone who was involved also picked that stone up as well and carried me in some kind of way."
To donate to the GoFundMe, visit www.gofundme.com/f/cprzrw-jacob-mulligan.