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Highlands and Islands Students’ Association employee reflects on 10 years of same-sex marriage: ‘I’d found the person I love more than anything in the world’





Since same-sex marriage became legal 10 years ago, more than 10,000 couples have taken advantage of the law and tied the knot.

It was on December 16, 2014 that couples who had already entered a civil partnership were able to convert them into marriages, with the first ceremonies taking place on Hogmanay that year.

Since then there has been a steady stream of same-sex couples getting married, one of which was UHI’s Highlands and Islands Student Association employee Amanda Fleet and her partner Rebecca.

Theirs may have been one of the more unusual stories of the 10,000-plus marriages, as they flew to Las Vegas last year and got married by Elvis.

UHI employee Amanda Fleet married partner Rebecca last year in Las Vegas in a ceremony officiated by Elvis.
UHI employee Amanda Fleet married partner Rebecca last year in Las Vegas in a ceremony officiated by Elvis.

However, it was a moment that Amanda had felt for a long time would never happen.

“I actually never wanted to get married – in fact I was adamant marriage wasn’t for me,” she said.

“My wife always laughs at me about this because I told her very early on that I didn’t want the whole wedding and kids thing.

“Fairly quickly this all changed – I knew I wanted to marry her and we hope to adopt one day in the future.

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“It became important to me because I’d found the person I love more than anything in the world.

“For both of us it was definitely about the commitment to each other rather than having a traditional wedding.

“I want to give us as secure a future as possible, and I know legally we have more rights than if we were simply just living together, especially when it comes to adopting.”

As with any milestone, a full decade of same-sex marriage gives scope for reflection about the work it took to earn that measure of equality, the progress that has been made since and also what more can still be done going forward.

There will naturally be a personal perspective to that, as well as a broader look at national culture and international challenges for the LGBTQ+ community.

For Amanda, that is certainly true considering her initial resistance to the idea of marriage, but in many ways her current life is night and day compared to her younger years.

“I was 20 years old and a student at the University of Edinburgh when same sex marriage was legalised in Scotland,” she recalled.

“I remember waiting in a queue in a supermarket and looking at my phone when I saw about it in the news. Rebecca and I are both 30 now, so still fairly young, but so much has changed in terms of LGBTQ+ rights in our lifetimes.

Section 28 was still in place when we were in school and there was very little representation of same-sex couples in the media. It certainly wasn’t something that was talked about in my family.

“To go from that to having a wife and a whole network of friends from our wonderful community is utterly amazing.

“It’s obviously fantastic that same-sex couples have been able to get married for the past 10 years in Scotland but we’ve still got a long way to go in terms of equality around the world.

“My wife and I love to travel but we’ve had to accept that there are certain countries that wouldn’t be safe for us to go to as a same-sex married couple.

“Even though we have these rights, we need to continue to support those in the LGBTQ+ community who aren’t so lucky.”

As for Amanda and Rebecca, they met through their shared love of horses. Many an early day in their relationship was spent at the stables going out riding.

UHI employee Amanda Fleet bonded with her now-wife Rebecca through their shared love of horses.
UHI employee Amanda Fleet bonded with her now-wife Rebecca through their shared love of horses.

Much of their spare time now continues to be spent in the world of sport, an industry they each work in too.

Their bond is such that family and friends were delighted when they got married – even if the wedding happening in Las Vegas meant they could not be there in person.

“Rebecca is my wife, best friend and teammate, all in one,” Amanda added.

“Our wedding was live streamed for friends and family to watch back home. Everyone was so happy for us and it was lovely to know that they were all watching from the comfort of their own homes.

“We had some friends tell us it was the best wedding they’ve ever been to because they were able to sit in bed eating fish and chips!

“We’re planning on having a big party at some point but that had to be put on hold because we needed new central heating – the excitement of married life!


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