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First couple in the Highlands to get a civil partnership recall upgrading it to a marriage: ‘At long last we were able to do what straight couples had always been able to do’





The first couple in the Highlands to get a civil partnership have spoken out about why it was important to them to convert it into a marriage at the first possible opportunity.

Today marks 10 years since same-sex marriage became legal in Scotland.

That came nine years after civil partnerships were introduced at the very end of 2005, and there were two civil partnerships registered in the Highlands before a new year was ushered in.

The first of them was the union of Kevin Crowe and Simon Long, who had already been together since 1990.

Kevin Crowe and Simon Long were the first couple in the Highlands to have a civil partnership – which was then converted into a marriage at the earliest possible opportunity.
Kevin Crowe and Simon Long were the first couple in the Highlands to have a civil partnership – which was then converted into a marriage at the earliest possible opportunity.

That could have been enough for them, but instead when same-sex marriage became legal in Scotland on December 16, 2014 they jumped at the chance to convert their civil partnership into a marriage.

“For almost as long as we have known each other we have wanted to get married,” Mr Crowe said.

“When civil partnerships were introduced, we saw that as a step in the right direction. In many ways, it was a marriage in all but name, but names are important.

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“We both recall the days when the expression of our love was considered to be a crime and our sexuality a mental illness, so we decided we wanted to enter a civil partnership on the earliest date allowed by the law – which was December 21, 2005.

“When same sex marriage was introduced, we also wanted to be married as soon as possible. We took our civil partnership documents to the council offices and the registrar changed its status to a marriage. So our marriage certificate is actually dated 2005!

“On the one hand, I was incredibly happy that at long last we were able to do what straight couples had always been able to do.

“However on the other hand, it had taken far too long. Over the decades of our lives we have seen loving couples prosecuted for activities that would have been legal for heterosexuals, we have seen couples demonised for the crime of being in love, and indeed have experienced some of that ourselves.

Kevin Crowe and Simon Long at the Proud Scotland Awards a few years ago.
Kevin Crowe and Simon Long at the Proud Scotland Awards a few years ago.

“In the 1980s and 1990s I had friends who died as a result of HIV/AIDS, sometimes without being allowed dignity, sometimes with their partners being denied the right to say goodbye or even the right to attend funerals.

“I had one friend who did so much to further the cause of our liberation and fight for equality, but sadly died in his 30s. I often think of him. Without the likes of him, we would not now have the rights we do.”

While the process of converting their civil partnership into a marriage was fairly straightforward, there was one external wrinkle.

Both Kevin and Simon are devout Christians, and members of the Catholic Church, but their denomination refused to affirm their marriage – and more generally conduct same-sex ceremonies.

Determined to have some sort of religious element, they had initially turned to an Episcopalian priest to conduct their civil partnership ceremony, however he pulled out claiming he feared backlash from his parishioners.

With a lengthy build-up in the press leading up to the moment gay couples could enter civil partnerships, there were plenty of people making their voices known, but Kevin and Simon were still able to celebrate their union with over 100 people at the Rhiconich Hotel.

“In general, we were surprised by how little negativity there was,” Mr Crowe recalled.

“We had masses of support, but there were exceptions. One fundamentalist Christian wrote to the Northern Times saying that it was appropriate that the civil partnership took place on the shortest day of the year as it was a dark day indeed.

Some of the letters in the Northern Times after the first civil partnership in the Highlands took place in December 2005.
Some of the letters in the Northern Times after the first civil partnership in the Highlands took place in December 2005.
Some of the letters in the Northern Times after the first civil partnership in the Highlands took place in December 2005.
Some of the letters in the Northern Times after the first civil partnership in the Highlands took place in December 2005.

“One of the regulars in the public bar at the Rhiconich Hotel started to bring his own glass to the pub in case he got AIDS from glasses people had used at our party. Even his friends laughed at him and told him he was being silly.

“There were two other difficult responses, both relating to faith issues.

“We knew it was impossible to have a Catholic priest officiate because any priest who had done would have been disciplined by the church, even though our parish priest offered what support he could.

“However, there was another Highland Catholic priest who took it upon himself to send us a letter telling us that by entering the civil partnership, we had broken both God's and the Church's law and that in the future he would refuse to give us Communion.

“Although he wasn't our parish priest, we had been attending a local monthly mass he held. No other priest has ever refused us Communion.

Ministers made their feelings known about the then-upcoming introduction of civil partnerships back in 2005.
Ministers made their feelings known about the then-upcoming introduction of civil partnerships back in 2005.

“The second issue related to who would conduct the service. Originally an Episcopal priest – who had in the past conducted informal ‘services of union’ for same-sex couples – had agreed to take the service. However, two weeks before the event he withdrew.

“A friend and former work colleague of mine who had trained as a local Methodist preacher agreed to take his place at very short notice with the approval of her church, and we remain grateful to her for stepping in.”

A decade on from same-sex marriage becoming legal, it may well have taken on a new-found meaning to those who have taken advantage of the 2014 law.

For Kevin and Simon, it also remains a reminder of how far things have progressed in their lifetimes.

Kevin and Simon both remember a time when it was illegal to simply be gay, never mind get married as a same-sex couple.
Kevin and Simon both remember a time when it was illegal to simply be gay, never mind get married as a same-sex couple.

“We both grew up in a country where expressing our love for another man was a criminal offence and was listed as a mental illness,” Mr Crowe added.

“When male homosexual behaviour was decriminalised in England and Wales in 1967, I was 16 and Simon was 27. When it was finally decriminalised in Scotland in 1981, I was 30 and Simon was 41. In fact, convictions of gross indecency actually increased after decriminalisation, because of the many restrictions in the 1967 act.

“In the 1980s, Margaret Thatcher's government brought in Section 28 which made it difficult and in some cases impossible for local government employees to provide services for us.

“However, since the late 1990s, legal discriminations against us were gradually removed and we began to get legal protections, in the main because of LGBTQ+ activism, and eventually we got the right to marry.

“I have been an activist for many decades now, and it is wonderful to see the fruits of all that work done by so many activists, many of whom died before all this happened.”


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